I have a confession…I sometimes struggle with receiving compliments. I receive numerous “you’re cute”, “you’re beautiful”, “you’re pretty”, “you’re gorgeous”, and even though it’s true, I feel awkward hearing them. It just feels weird. As much as I say how beautiful I am, it can be strange hearing it from others constantly. However I’m never going to tell people to stop saying it; keep those compliments coming…LOL. I’m a work in progress and embracing hearing it from others.
The one compliment that makes me CRINGE is when I’m told I’m sexy. When I think sexy, I think of women like Halle Berry, and some of those Instagram models with millions of followers. Sexy is such a strong word, just like hate is a strong word. Strong words that should be used sparingly. To me, sexy is a whole other level. What level, you ask? Heck I don’t know, but it’s definitely not at the same level as cute or beautiful. Maybe because sexy has the word sex in it, and it took me a long time to see myself as a sexual being, someone that people actually wanted to have sex with. And not only that, hoping that my actions in the bedroom enhanced that sexiness people saw on the outside. You know, the icing on the cake.
As a model, you’re asked to pose in different ways and take on different personalities for the camera. Sexy is one of them. It took some practice to achieve the required look for a photo shoot, but I think I got it. There are many times I’m told I look sexy in a photo when I’m not even trying to be. I take a selfie wearing no makeup and bags under my eyes, and the men go wild. I actually had a man request that I wear no makeup on a date. It wasn’t a big deal so I didn’t wear any, but it was an interesting request. I thought I looked cute, but sexy…not so much.
I’m learning that sexy is a state of mind. Being sexy could include one’s looks, but it also involves grace, poise, and most of all confidence. So based on this yes I’m sexy. Now saying this as often as I say I’m beautiful will be the true challenge. Who wants to take the challenge with me?
I would love to hear your thoughts. What does being sexy mean to you? Post a comment below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let’s have some dialogue!
-The “Sexy” Curvy Doc